You can’t carry it all.
In the last couple of weeks, Averlee has discovered her love for all things baby doll related. She is such a little Mommy! It is so precious. She will line her babies up beside her and cover them with blankets. She will stick things in her “purse”, grab a baby, and head for the door – Just like I do when we are going somewhere. Just the other day, she was grabbing her baby of choice for the day and her purse. I watched her as she tried to hold her baby, keep her purse on her arm, and pick up her sippy cup – all at the same time! After a few moments of struggling, she looked at me and handed me her baby so she could pick up her sippy cup. I offered to carry her sippy so she could hold her baby, but she was content with the arrangement she had made. Out the door we went. I was carrying my bag, Ryker, and baby. Averlee had her purse and sippy.
I did not think much about all of this until yesterday when I was making out my prayer request list for the week. It seems my prayers are shifting more and more towards, “God I need you to [insert miracle]” or “God, please take [insert burden] from me.” I’m asking Him to take things and handle them for me, but I’m not fully releasing my grip. Yesterday afternoon I came across a quote though. *I see you, God. I know that was all You.*
“It is okay to not be okay. If you are not okay, you don’t have to pretend that you are okay. You can say, ‘I need help. I need help from God.”‘
The truth is, in my mind I know I need to let go of these worries that are weighing heavy on my heart. I know this. Believe me when I say that. I. KNOW. In my heart I can’t help but to hold on to tiny pieces. Do any of you do that?
It is up to me to decide: Do I want to continue juggling these problems all by myself, or am I ready to hand them over for someone stronger to carry?
I’m typing this through tear-filled eyes. Friends, I ask that each of you say this prayer with me today…
Father, I’m carrying this load. I’ve pretended to let it go many times and just hand it to you, but we both know- I’m still holding on. I haven’t released my grip- my super tight grip. I know You want to take this from me. I know You can heal my heart and my body. I know you can do things unimaginable. I’m standing in faith that You will carry me through this storm. I’m confident You have a greater plan than I can imagine. Father, I know I am not alone. My friends here are carrying burdens also. We come to You now to lay these at your feet. We can’t do this without You, Lord. We are submitting our agenda to Your perfect plans today. Walking with You, letting You carry us is far greater than trying to run ahead on our own. In Your Holy Name. Amen.