The Beginning of 7th Grade

I’m not exactly sure how this happened, but I woke up this morning (late of course) the mom of a 7th grader. When Gav was little, people always told me the years would fly by. I believe them. I really do. Gav’s dad and I were talking this morning about how soon we will be dropping him off at high school. Seriously? This is all happening way too fast for my little Mommy heart.

Gavin

 

About Gavin

Gavin has a huge, caring heart. He loves to help me take care of his brother and sister. Ryker is his #1 fan for sure. Gavin loves to eat. He usually requests Mexican if we are out, but he really likes when we have taco or spaghetti night at  home. He’s now the same height as me – 5’5″.  He hopes to make the middle school basketball team and baseball team this year. He’s practiced and scrimmaged with both, but an official tryout will not be held until later in the school year.

Gavin will be 13 two months from Wednesday. I cannot wrap my mind around how quickly the last 13 years have flown by, but I’m grateful we’ve survived this long. Being Gavin’s mom is probably one of favorite jobs, but it has also been challenging. He refers to himself as my “guinea pig”. Honestly, there has been a lot of trial and error with Gavin. I don’t know what I’m doing half the time or how to handle some situations. His dad and I are able to co-parent really well though so that makes things SO much easier.

 

Happy 1st day of 7th grade, Gavin! I’m so proud of the young man you are growing up to be! Love you to the moon!

 

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Answered Prayer: Lindsay (Part 2)

Part 2: Growing Baby Paxton

Missed Part 1? Find it here!

I continued to pray over this baby everyday. We decided to have an early ultrasound at 16 weeks to find out what we were having. To my delight it was a boy. Matt was overjoyed. He wanted a boy so bad. And we both feared that the baby we lost was a boy and this one would be a girl. But once again God showed up. Not that getting the gender we want is something God is concerned about but for me it showed me he was listening. He knew the desire of our heart and he fulfilled that.

Fast forward 4 weeks, we head to our 20 week ultrasound at the doctor’s office. They are going to confirm the gender and do a bunch of measurements and just check on the little guy. It was great! We got to see him and confirm that indeed it was a him. He looked amazing. He was measuring right where he needed to be. During the ultrasound you can tell the tech can see something that isn’t totally normal and this is where our journey began. When I was 20 weeks pregnant I was diagnosed with complete placenta previa. This is a condition where the placenta has implanted itself low in your uterus and is covering your cervix. So the baby cannot be born any way except for a C-section. As your uterus grows usually the placenta will move and will no longer block the cervix opening. This can be a very serious and life threatening condition for the mom. If for some reason the placenta starts to break down you could start bleeding and it would be difficult to control. My doctor basically said that when the time came for the C-section I might end up with a total hysterectomy if the the bleeding gets to out of control. So we left that appointment a little nervous but overall optimistic that when I returned 4 weeks later it would have moved. Well we have our ultrasound and find out it has not moved. Still my doctor seemed optimistic it could still change positions and so were we, we went on with everyday life. 4 weeks later, on a Monday, we returned to have another ultrasound to monitor the progress. We were a little saddened to find out it still had not moved. Our doctor at this point said the likelihood of it moving was getting less. We left that appointment and again went about our day. My husband had the day off from work, thank you Columbus, so we decided to have a family day. We had lunch and then decided to take Cali to a pumpkin patch. She played and ran all over the place. We picked out a pumpkin for her and Paxton also. We left there and grabbed some dinner and headed to church. Our worship band was doing a live recording for a CD with their worship music on it. And they had invited members to be in the audience to provide the background cheering and singing. I was so excited to be a part of this. I love our worship band and could not wait for this night. So we sang praises and worshipped for 2 whole hours. It was amazing! We got home that night around 9:30 and put Cali to bed and finally got to lay down ourselves. I was pretty exhausted from the day and fell asleep pretty quickly. Around 11:15 I was suddenly awoken and realized I was bleeding. And not just a little bleeding……I had managed to get it all over the sheets. I was really bleeding. I woke Matt up and told him what was going on and said we needed to get to the hospital. Ask any mom that has been pregnant and she will tell you that seeing that much blood is very unsettling. I sort of went into shock. I was nervous and anxious and incredibly worried about our little boy. We called my parents to come and stay at our house with Cali and headed to the hospital. We got there around 11:45. After some paperwork in the ER we were taken up to the labor and delivery floor to get checked in. At this point it had been a full hour and a half since I felt Paxton move. I was starting to fear the worst. As soon as I was in bed the nurse grabbed the monitor and immediately found the heartbeat. I had never felt so much relief at one time! He was looking incredible on the monitor. He had a nice strong heartbeat and immediately started moving and rolling around. It was very comforting to hear him and see him moving around. They monitored me through the night. The next morning my doctor came in and said that Paxton looked good but they were going to keep me until the next Monday just to make sure everything was ok. He also said he noticed throughout the night I was having some contractions. So he decided I needed to be put on a Magnesium drip to help stop those contractions. I’m here to tell you, if you have never experienced Magnesium consider yourself lucky! It was torture and it lasts for 24 hours. Finally I was taken off that medicine and life kind of returned to normal, as normal as sitting in the hospital all day can be. So for the rest of the week we made the best of our stay in the hospital. We actually spent our 7th wedding anniversary in the hospital. People were sending flowers and coming to visit. It was so nice to see our village just surround us during that time. Well the following Monday my doctor comes in and says I can go home but on bed rest. I wasn’t on strict bed rest but was advised to lay down as much as possible. I lasted 3 weeks at home! Praise the Lord!!

During my at home bed rest, I was having 2 doctor’s appointments a week. One was an appointment with my doctor and an ultrasound to measure my placenta and check to see if it was moving at all. The other was for an NST. Its a non-stress test, it’s actually pretty awesome. You get to sit in a comfy recliner and watch tv while strapped to a monitor and listen to that beautiful heartbeat for 30 minutes! I really enjoyed these visits. I would get me a smoothie before the appointment and then it was just me and my boy for a solid 30 minutes. Well it was one of these appointments that things changed for me. I woke up the morning on one of my ultrasound days and I was bleeding. Now my doctor had given me strict instructions that if I started bleeding at all to head straight to the ER. Well seeing as how this was my 3rd bleeding episode, I was a little less panicked than all the other times. I knew it wasn’t a ton of bleeding and since we were heading to the doctor anyway I figured I would just mention it there. I see my doctor and tell him and he informs me to go straight home, pack a bag and head to the hospital. I wasn’t totally shocked because of the seriousness of the situation. I checked in the hospital on November 2nd at 32 weeks.

My stay in the hospital was so not what my doctor expected. He said I was able to keep Paxton in me a lot longer than I thought I was going to. The morning of November 21st was the day God chose I would meet my little boy. He came 6 weeks early and 2 weeks before my scheduled C-section. Just a little side story to show how awesome God is! I kept a quiet time journal the whole time I was in the hospital. Every morning I spent some time with the Lord. It was so awesome having that time each day. It’s hard with a toddler at home to really get 30 minutes of undisturbed time to just sit and study and read God’s word. Well the day before Paxton was born the verse God laid on my heart was Isaiah 43:2 “When you pass through the waters I will be with you, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” And also Deuteronomy 31:6-8 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you, he will never leave nor forsake you.” I always write down prayers I have for people or myself at the end of my quiet time. My prayer for me says, “I cannot say thank you enough for bringing Paxton and myself to this point. Lord just continue to cover us and protect both of us. Lord I know your plan is great and I know that you have already seen this ending. I just pray you continue to give me peace and know that you’ve got this.” He was preparing me that morning for what was to come, I just didn’t know it yet.

I woke up around 4 am on the 21st and instantly knew I was bleeding again. And also knew it was a big deal. This was now my 5th bleeding episode in 6 weeks. I called my nurse and she immediately paged my doctor and things got to moving rather quickly. I was told I would be having a c-section as quickly as possible. I’m scrambling because Matt isn’t even here, I’m all alone! I tell one of the nurses his number and they are calling him. But he isn’t answering and it hits me, he doesn’t answer random numbers and especially at 4 am. So I handed her my cell phone and told her to call him. He finally answers and rallies all of our family and everyone heads up to the hospital. It was very chaotic for a little bit. I was extremely nervous because I knew I was bleeding but there really isn’t anything they can do to stop it right now. My doctor was literally in mid-delivery of another baby. So he couldn’t just stop what he was doing but he reassured me he would be done very quickly because I needed to get to the OR soon. As I laid in the OR while they were prepping me, my mind kept going over the verse in Isaiah. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. I knew God was there, I knew he was holding me and I knew he was going to watch over us. My doctor ran into some complications once he got in there. Apparently Paxton had flipped into breach position at some point. I had an ultrasound that previous Tuesday to confirm position and weight and check my placenta. So in 4 days he flipped! But at just after 6 am my baby boy was born at 4 pounds and 11oz. I was so excited and wanted to see him. When I was able to see him the nurse held him up to my face so I could kiss him. And then he was whisked away to the NICU. Matt went with him because I told him I was fine and I wanted him to be with our son. Little did I know what was ahead.

I could tell things were not going as planned. My doctor and the surgeon assisting him seemed a little frazzled and appeared to be struggling. I asked repeatedly what was going on but didn’t get many answers. I prayed and prayed and prayed. After having Paxton and an additional hour and a half of surgery I was taken into the recovery room. God had brought me through it, just like I knew he would. Now, I was in an excruciating amount of pain, but that didn’t matter. My little boy was doing ok in the NICU and I was still around, so I was happy. I was able to see Paxton the following day after much pleading with my nurses. He was beautiful and tiny and amazing. I was in awe of our God. I was sitting next to my rainbow baby and holding his little hand. We tell the story of Noah and the ark to our little girl a lot. We remind her that God always gives us a rainbow after a storm. Paxton is my rainbow. Isaiah 66:9 says “I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the Lord.” This is so true. Hold tight to the Lord during the storms and the painful moments. He knows what he is doing and he will see you through.

Answered Prayer: Lindsay

 

I met Lindsay over eight years ago through her now husband, Matt. They have been married since October 18, 2008. They have a beautiful 4-year-old daughter named Cali and a sweet little miracle 8 month old son named Paxton. Lindsay has a huge heart and amazing faith. I pray you will feel encouraged by her story.  These are her words. . .


Photo Credits: Rebecca Kelly Photography

Part 1:

Have you ever felt like you are being attacked by the devil? It can happen at any time and without warning. Even the best Christians, with the best walks with Jesus can come under Satan’s attack.

When Cali was two and a half we found out we were pregnant….by total surprise. We had been trying for months but nothing was happening. And then randomly out of the blue we found out I was expecting. We were thrilled. So excited in fact that after only a week of finding out we told all of our families during Christmas. Everyone was thrilled for us. Well only a few short weeks after that we found out our baby had no heartbeat. We were scheduled for a repeat ultrasound in a week just to confirm. We prayed and prayed and prayed some more. I wanted a miracle, honestly I did. But I prayed mostly for God’s will. And that whatever his will he would walk me through it. It’s amazing how consistently praying can put you at ease. As we sat in the waiting room the following week for our ultrasound I knew what they were going to find. And I knew that God was there with me. In that moment, in that space, he was there holding me up and giving me this peace that surpasses all understanding. We had our ultrasound and exactly what I felt was confirmed. I was scheduled for a D&C just a couple of days later. We left and neither of us really said anything. It’s a strange feeling knowing that only a couple of weeks ago you were planning your baby’s future and now you are preparing for a surgery to remove this precious life God gave you. I put on the brave strong face. I didn’t want to upset Matt or Cali or our family. I was at peace with this and knew that God wouldn’t put me through such an ordeal without a reason. I fully believe this is when the devil crept in. I had the surgery and again kept up the brave face. I said all the right things to people when they asked how I was. I told them God had a plan and he knew what he was doing. But in the quiet of my house during my alone time, I cried out to God. I couldn’t understand what was going on. He knew how much we wanted another baby. Did he really think my faith was strong enough to withstand something like this? Did he think my faith wasn’t strong enough and so that was why he was letting me endure this, to draw me closer to him? All kinds of questions would run through my head. And some were not always accepting and loving towards Christ. I had moments of hurt and anger and sadness with God. I pulled away from my marriage. I didn’t want to be close to him because it hurt. I had one job, protect and grow a little baby and I had failed.

I had joined a group of ladies at church around this time. I had been leading a women’s small group for about a year and we were starting discipleship groups that fall. In order to lead a discipleship group you must first yourself go through the discipleship process. I was excited to get connected with some more ladies and really dig into the word. I just knew it would bring me out of my funk. So I joined and things seem to pick up. Matt and I became closer and eventually decided to start trying again. Well we decided we weren’t going to prevent anything. If the Lord blessed us with another baby then great, if not then we were ok with that also. So everything was moving along. I had an incredible support system of girlfriends who had experienced the same loss and we regularly chatted and shared our hearts with one another and it was awesome. After a few weeks in this discipleship class I find out I am once again pregnant. And because God is who he is, he showed up. I went to my discipleship class and our leader started out by sharing a verse that for some reason that morning God laid on her heart. It was Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding: In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” I cried…and everyone looked at me a little crazy. I apologized and said that verse just really speaks to me. After we were done with group my leader pulls me aside to let me know if I need to talk or to pray she is there. So I told her we had just found out we were pregnant again and I was a nervous wreck. How was I supposed to relax and trust in God when he took my second baby home with him? She said I think it’s crazy this verse was laid on my heart. She said it was truly from out of nowhere and that she felt God telling her to share it with us. I relaxed a little. God was there, he is in the midst and he knew my anxiety. Well I prayed and prayed and prayed during the weeks leading up to our first doctor’s appointment. And we went and I thought I was going to throw up I was so nervous while sitting in that waiting room. We get called back and there is a heart beat! This little one has a heart beat and I can see the beautiful heart beating away on the screen. Next to seeing Cali’s heartbeat the first time, this was an incredible day. I left that appointment a little more confident in this pregnancy.

 

Riding On Faith…Of Others?

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends. --John Lennon:

This morning I was preparing my thoughts for our first Seeds of Hope meeting and praying for God to show me what He wants me to share. Mid prayer I felt Him lay this concept on my heart: Riding on the faith of others. Isn’t it crazy how He does things like that sometimes?  It seems so appropriate for today especially since He has given us ( Kayla and me) this opportunity to witness to some amazing women. He has entrusted to us these women who are in a dark season of their lives. He is trusting US… little Kari and little Kayla to encourage, give advice, listen, and pray with these women. I do not take this task lightly, and I pray daily that I am fulfilling God’s plan in a way that is pleasing unto Him.

 

Romans 1:12 – “When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.” 

♥Share from your heart. Share with love. Personally, I feel so encouraged myself by the women who have been placed in my path the last two years. Their faith is remarkable.

Ecclesiastes 3:4 – “A time to cry and a time to laugh, A time to grieve and a time to dance.”

♥Don’t shy away from a “God Moment”. I know there are women who are afraid/ shy/ embarrassed when it comes to talking about infertility. I realize not everyone will fall into our laps, send us messages, or come to us. I realize I need to look for the women who are crying in the corner. It isn’t always going to be comfortable. God didn’t ask me to be comfortable though, did He?

It is a little less painful to go through infertility when you have someone in your corner. We are sharing the moments of tears, heartache, and doubt with these amazing women. You better believe we will be rejoicing when each of them have a pregnancy announcement!

2Corinthians 5:20 – “So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us.”

♥Actions speak so much louder than words. Sometimes I’m guily of shying away from reaching out or speaking to someone because I fear I do not have the words. I don’t know what the right thing to say would be. Anyone else feel that way? No. Just me? As an ambassador of Christ- As an example of God’s love, I shouldn’t do that though! Each opportunity He gives me to show His love to someone in need, I should take that opportunity and run with it. Actions carried out in love will send a stronger message.

2Timothy 1:8 – “So never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord. And don’t be ashamed of me, either, even though I’m in prison for Him. With the strength God gives you, be ready to suffer with me for the sake of the Good News.”

♥You cannot do life alone. Sharing your struggles with others is a way to open the door for God to use your struggle for something beautiful. I’m not suggesting you air all of your struggles via a Facebook status. Please. Don’t be THAT person. I will tell you this though – by me opening up to just a few people about my own struggles, it allowed God to show me people who could shine a light for me.

 

Listen. Sit down for a second. Come close and let me whisper these words to you – It is OKAY to be a little weak. It is ok to feel a little defeated at times. You don’t have to put on your superhero mask today, ladies and gents. If your are in a dark season, I can assure you someone is waiting to hold the light to help you through. As Christians, we are called to step out on faith and encourage others. If you are in a season of life where you are needing encouragement or you are needing a hand to hold, that is ok. One day you will be able to hold the light for someone else during their own dark season.

“Honor each opportunity [to witness] as a moment created and planned by God.” – Elise Cleary

 

If you would like more info about our faith-based support group, please send me a little message, fill out the form below, or find me on Facebook – http://www.fb.com/dearbabybell .

Is This Enough? 

I did not plan to write today. Today I had every intention of unplugging and just being present in the moment. That lasted an entire 45 minutes this morning. As soon as I finished my spin class, I hopped on Pinterest to look for kitchen remodel inspiration. That search lead to me noticing I had some Facebook notifications… Which led to me scrolling for a scripture to share with a friend. That led to me typing a long email explaining why I couldn’t meet another friend for coffee this evening. 

I thank God daily for the way He uses me. I ask Him daily to show me opportunities to encourage others. Today though? Today I asked Him for grace. I know I’m needed. I know my kids need me. I know my husband needs me. I know my support group needs me. I know my friendships need me. I just wonder if I am enough. I make it to 9:00 each night and I just can’t seem to shut my brain off. I feel like I have so much I want to do, so much I need to say, but there’s nothing left of me. 

I feel like sometimes my husband get the scraps that are left of me at the end of the day. He often comes home from work and I’m preoccupied with laundry, supper, kids, emails, or just me crying. Yes. Crying. There are days when I feel ashamed for crying, but other days I will completely own it. Yesterday I owned it. I 100% owned the fact I am in a season of my life where I have to start saying “no”. I can’t be everywhere. I can’t do everything. There isn’t enough of me and I need to realize it is ok to verbalize that. I’m grateful he understands that. 

So if you’re looking for someone to organize a bake sale- don’t look at me. I can’t do it right now, but I’d appreciate it if you dropped off a cake and sat on the couch with me for a chat. We can eat cake! If you’re wanting me to head a committee- look further. I have a support group I am pouring my heart into. It is my passion. It is my dream come true. It deserves me and not my scraps. My kids, my husband, my support group, and myself- all deserve my best. That is what I have to give in this season of life. I hope that is enough… 

Twinning Isn’t Easy

 

We have somehow survived almost 19 months as the parents of twins. I want to place extra emphasis on that statement. We have somehow almost survived. There are days when I’m not sure I will make it until bedtime. There are days when I wish nap time was at 9:00am and lasted until after lunchtime. I’m just being honest!

I must admit this is probably the funniest stage/ phase/ season so far. Ryker has become a little chatter box with his vocabulary. He loves to talk about tractors, hay, cows, birds, his big brother, and Daddy.  Averlee is … sassy. So so sassy. It is so fun to just watch her as she struts from one thing to another. She loves to clean. She will pick up the tiniest piece of lint or cat hair and toss it in the trash. She’s Mommy’s little helper too. She likes to be right by my side when I’m doing laundry. She will pull each piece out of the dryer and hand it to me. It is the sweetest.

They both have developed their own little unique personalities. Ryker has a little temper and is very stubborn at times. He is a Mommy’s baby. He loves for me to hold him as long as Big Bro isn’t around. If Gavin is around, Ryker is 100% Big Bro’s baby. Averlee gets her feelings hurt easily, but will stand her ground when it comes to handling her twin brother. She loves her Daddy so much. She will run to him if she needs help with something. Seriously, if he is around she will run right past me and straight to him. It’s sweet. I am a Daddy’s girl myself so it is so cute to see her love her own Daddy so much.

As for me, everyday is an adventure. Just last week Ryker emptied the laundry room trash in the floor twice in one day. He also proceeded to pour the dog’s water in the floor WITH the trash he had dumped. They are both so quick. They definitely keep me on my toes. There isn’t much sitting around sipping coffee and watching them play peacefully in the floor anymore. They are so busy. They are so energetic. They wear me out, but I’m enjoying every moment as much as I can.

This is the most challenging season we’ve encountered so far, but it is also the most fun. When I was pregnant with them, I would daydream and wonder what they would be like. Would they be best friends? Would Averlee love baby dolls? Would Ryker love dinosaurs? What would they like to do daily? It is so neat to see them develop into their own little people.

 

on June 25th we took R&A to Lucky Ladd Farms in Eagleville, TN for Construction Day. Check out their Facebook page {link above} for upcoming events this summer! 

Hope

In order to take God’s words deep into your heart, in order to allow them to alter your thoughts and ease your mind, you will need to calm yourself.”  – Pregnant With Hope : Good News For Infertile Couples

Last night I shared this quote with the ladies in Seeds of Hope. A couple of the ladies have reached out to us and shared their fears, worries, and doubts about their upcoming cycles. I get it. I remember being in that deep, dark place of doubt. I remember wanting to give up because I just didn’t feel like I could push forward anymore. I felt defeated. I allowed my own emotions and doubt to swallow me whole. I shut people out of my life. I became a person I did not even recognize. I. WAS. CONSUMED.

Sometimes it is easier to follow our own plan versus listening for God to reveal His plan, right? Raise your hand if you like to be in control. Do you like to call the shots? Do you like to know what is just over the horizon? Are you holding a tight grip on something? My hand is raised. Both of them. “Me. Me. Me!!!” I had it all planned out. In my mind I knew just how the story should go. Much to my surprise though, God had an even better story for me. I just needed to let go of that tight grip I had on MY plan. I had to stop trying to call the shots. I had to stop doubting. That’s all easier said than done. I know it is. We have to do it though. As hard as it seems. As vulnerable as it makes us feel. We have to do it.

We have to let go and know God will catch us. We have to push our feelings of self-doubt, constant worry, hopelessness, and defeat aside. Those feelings are clouding our vision. They are not beneficial to us at all. We cannot see what God is trying to reveal to us when we are consumed with these feelings. He’s got this, folks. His fingerprints are everywhere! We just have to be still, release our grip, and listen.

The Hearts Behind Seeds of Hope: Kari 

Introducing: Kari
Hi y’all! My name is Kari. I am just days away from my 31st birthday. I have been married to my husband, Trey, for four years. I have a 12-year-old son, Gavin, from a previous marriage. Trey and I welcomed our boy/ girl twins, Ryker and Averlee, into our family in December of 2014. We have a shi tzu named Harper, a cat named Tabby, and a golden lab named Foxy.
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I’m a planner. I planned to have two kids. Imagine my disappointment when I had a doctor look me in the eyes after my second miscarriage and tell me I wouldn’t be able to have more children. I was barely 24.
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I met Trey in 2010. We began dating in April of 2011. Before our May 2012 wedding, the topic of children came up in pre-marital counseling. He wanted two kids. I told him about my previous history, but deep down I had a feeling maybe that doctor was wrong. A few months after our wedding, we decided we would begin trying. I stopped taking birth control pills. When I stopped taking the pills, I also stopped having periods.
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After two months of no period, I began to worry. After changing Ob/Gyn’s twice, I finally had a doctor who would listen to my concerns. I began my first round of Clomid in April of 2013. Three rounds of Clomid, two rounds of Femara, and one IUI later, I found myself facing surgery to repair an overstimulated ovary, removal an 8cm cyst from my left ovary, and removal of endometriosis. In December of 2013 I was referred to Nashville Fertility Clinic where my husband I and did two rounds of injectables and IUIs. In December of 2014, I gave birth to Ryker and Averlee at 34 weeks.
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I’ve prayed for God to show me what I can do to help other women. I know when I was in the middle of my own infertility journey, I felt like nobody else understood my heartache. I want each of you to understand – You are NOT alone. I have been praying for you for the last two years. I have been praying for God to show me a way I can use my story to help other women. He has laid Seeds of Hope on my heart. I hope that through this group, Kayla and I will be able to offer encouragement, support, and shed some light during what is such a dark and trying time for so many women.

The Hearts Behind Seeds of Hope: Kayla

My name is Kayla, I’m 29 years old and been married to my high school sweetheart Dennis for almost five years. We have one beautiful little girl Preslee Ann who is our most precious gift from God. We also have a sweet fur baby Peyton who is still adjusting to his role as big brother to his 9 month old sister.
Dennis and I had a plan….a plan for our life that went perfect for a long time. We always got what we wanted, when we wanted and we worked hard for it too! That “plan” was quickly derailed when we started trying to conceive… God had other plans. Plans that would take us on an almost 3 year journey closer to Him and each other. After rounds and rounds of Clomid, negative tests and lots of tears in between we were blessed with the most amazing baby girl and the gift of His love, mercy and grace.

I’ve always prayed our journey could help inspire other women and after many prayers God has led me to each of you. Know you are not alone and your pain will become light and hope for others…..in His time!

“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” -Romans 5:3-5

Seeds of Hope

 

The day has come. Today my vision, our vision, God’s plan  comes to life. Today I am so excited to introduce…


History of the Vision 

I have prayed for God to use my story to encourage others. He has. I’ve had a handful of women tell me they felt encouraged by my blog. I’ve felt like I needed to do more though. When I was in the middle of my own battle three years ago, I searched for local support groups. There weren’t any. If there were, I couldn’t find them. I was blessed to have a friend from high school to talk to who understood the lingo, had been through the ups and downs, and she was able to shine some light in the middle of what felt like a dark, never-ending tunnel. I had very supportive friends and family. Do not get me wrong, I appreciated every prayer, card, flower arrangement, bowl of soup, and gallon of ice cream. I truly appreciated it. I felt like I needed more though. I still felt alone.

Once life calmed down a little after R&A were born, I began praying for God to show me what was next. I prayed for Him to use my story, my struggles, and my miracle babies. The idea of starting a support group crossed my mind a few times, but I always pushed the idea to the back burner. I didn’t think I could do it. I didn’t think I would have time to fully dedicate myself to a support group. God had a different plan though. God has a way of nudging us sometimes, doesn’t He? God placed not one, not two, but THREE women in my path. Through those women and their stories, I realized God was after my heart. He was opening doors and showing me what was next for me and my story. He made a way.

Several months ago, I pitched the idea to my friend, Kayla. {you can read her story here!} She was one of the women God had placed in my path previously. She had recently given birth to her own miracle. She had also told me about a few women who had reached out to her for support. She told me she liked the idea of a support group. She gave me a few ideas and said she would help me in any way she could, but she wasn’t sure how involved she could be. A few weeks ago, I asked Kayla to pray about it and let me know how involved she would like to be. I told her I felt like it was time for me to launch Seeds of Hope.

This week, Kayla reached out to me. She said she was ready to do this. Seeds of Hope is the result of two women who had a dream of doing something more. We have both prayed about this group for several months. We have asked God to give us the words He needs these women to hear. We pray we will be able to share His word in a way these women will have a renewed faith and feel hopeful for His plan for them and their future families. Most of all, we want them to realize they are not alone. Infertility is not something people openly talk about. We want these women to know they can talk to us. We will pray for them. We will cry with them. We will hold their hands. We will be the listening ear they need. We want to give them the seeds of hope they need on the days when they feel hopeless.

Who are these women?

We are praying for God to show us women who are:

  • struggling to conceive
  • have experienced miscarriage or stillbirth

 

Where will they meet?

Well. That’s totally up to the women of the group. Kayla and I want this to be less formal. We are not wanting to say we have to meet every second Thursday of the month. We would rather facilitate the group in way that encourages women to say, “Hey. Let’s get together this weekend and have a prayer.” We want this to be more of a community of women supporting and encouraging each other. So we will meet wherever is convenient for the women of the group. Come if you can, if not – we have a private group on Facebook- maybe you can join us next time we meet up? We plan to use the Facebook group to share prayers, updates, words of encouragement, and announce meetings/ gatherings.

How can you help?

Could you pray for us? Please. Pray for the women who will be coming to the meetings, the women who will join our online community, and the women who will personally reach out to us. Pray we will share God’s word with these women in a way that is pleasing to God.