Throwback: Baby’s First Gift

This post was originally shared on January 7, 2014. 

I had the pleasure of attending a baby shower over the weekend honoring a friend and former co-worker. It was so good to see her and celebrate her precious little boy who will arrive sometime next month! This baby shower was probably the easiest for me because my friend is living proof that doctors  can be wrong, and God is capable of working unimaginable miracles. Seeing her precious belly reminded me that our own miracle is coming soon. We are one day closer. I was filled with hope as I watched her open each gift. Attending her baby shower was truly a blessing. 

Earlier in the week as I was shopping for a baby shower gift, I came across the cutest, softest little stuffed dog. I had already picked out a baby shower gift. I was pretty happy with the gift, so I didn’t think I needed to pick up the dog too. I walked away and started looking at the non-baby stuff in the store. As I was walking towards the check out counter, I couldn’t stop thinking about that little stuffed dog. I decided to give it one more squeeze before I left. I thought to myself, “Maybe they will still sell these here when we finally get pregnant.” I walked away again. As I stood in line behind a lady at the checkout, it finally hit me. I need to buy that little dog for Baby Bell! So I did. I bought a baby shower gift and I bought a gift for our own little miracle. 

I put the little dog in a drawer when I got home. I look forward to the day when we finally get to give it to our child. Maybe it will be one day soon. Maybe we won’t have to wait much longer. I know there is reason for all of this. I know God is in complete control and has heard every single one of our desperate prayers. I know one day all of this waiting will be worth it. I have to admit the past few months have become harder, but I find peace in knowing God works miracles each and every day. I refuse to let a doctor’s diagnosis stop me from pursuing my dream of having a little Baby Bell. 


I’m a Failure.

You are too. 


I fail daily. You do too. I admit my failures. At the end of each day as I’m tucking myself in bed, I briefly reflect on the day and think of things I might do differently tomorrow. I’d be lying if I said I have it all together. I don’t. I’d also be lying if I said things are a breeze around here. Nobody has it all together. NO-BODY.

Gavin (my 13 year old) often tells me he is my “guinea pig” or my “project”. His choice of words. Not mine. He’s right. There has been a lot of trial and error with him. I became his mother when I was the ripe young age of 18. The nurse handed me this little brown-eyed boy with the biggest brown eyes, and I immediately prayed I wouldn’t mess him up. {Disclaimer: I still pray I won’t mess him up.}  I’ve been doing the best I can since. In hindsight, I realize I could’ve done A LOT better, yes. In the early years I struggled with how to handle his tantrums in Wal-Mart or church. I wasn’t as patient as I could have been when we were trying to potty train. He was my first child. It’s all trial and error with the first kid, right?

Now that I’m the mom of three kiddos, I still catch myself wondering how other moms always look like they have it all together. I consider it a win if I leave the house on time and everyone is wearing clean clothes and has neat hair. {Small victories here.} I’d also like to note, if I manage to get everyone in the car without (a) having to go back in the house to grab something I forgot or (b) anyone crying for a blanket, paci, juice, or snack – those are also winning situations. Moments like that are few and far between though.

I feel as mothers, it is so important to give ourselves grace. Personally, I need lots of it. My pal Becky Thompson nailed the topic of grace in her book, Hope Unfolding: Grace-Filled Truth for the Momma’s Heart. Listen, if we are all honest here, we call all agree we need a little grace. We aren’t perfect. We won’t always get it right. Becky shares her perspective of grace in all of the motherhood moments. She keeps it real.

“You know, sometimes we have to be willing to trust God to lead us down the roads that don’t make sense if we want to continue to walk in His perfect plan.”  – Becky Thompson